如何原諒，忘記和放手

如何原諒，忘記和放手1

　　How to Forgive, Forget and Let Go

　　Forgiving someone does not mean releasing them from an earlier guilt. What if the person who wronged you is not living? What if the person is someone who made you extremely embarrassed during school 20 or 30 years ago? Letting go of emotional pain does not mean that nothing happened; it means that you no longer want to be controlled by it.

　　Recognize that forgiveness is not denial. Whatever caused the pain was a real incident. Denying that it happened means itis too painful to work through the emotions. There is no timeline on forgiveness. Some steps take longer to get through, and it is acceptable to set them aside for a period of time. Part of forgiveness is understanding whether or not someone takes responsibility for what happened, and may even show regret.

　　Understand that not everyone who forgives reconcileswith the person who caused the pain. There are relationships that are harmful and even physically dangerous. While it is possible to forgive the past and move beyond it, it may also mean that the person who was involved can no longer play an active role in your life. If a person or a situation is not safe, it may be best not to reconcile the relationship now. Work on forgiveness at a time when you are emotionally healthy and physically safe.

　　Make a conscious decision to forgive someone. Even if they never apologize for what happened, determine within yourself that it is fine to proceed without this apology. Apologies should not be asking for forgiveness. Apologies should be offered as an effort of true regret. They should be admitting that taking personal responsibility for the situation is important. Even without that apology, make up your mind to forgive, forget, and eventually let go.

　　如何原諒，忘記和放手

　　原諒某人并不意味著將他們從先前的罪惡感中釋放出來。如果委屈您的人沒有生活怎么辦？如果此人是讓您在20或30年前上學時極度尷尬的人怎么辦？放開情感上的痛苦并不意味著什么也沒有發(fā)生。這意味著您不再希望受到它的控制。

　　認識到寬恕不是否認。造成痛苦的是真正的事件。否認它的發(fā)生意味著無法通過情緒工作。沒有寬恕的時間表。有些步驟需要更長的時間才能通過，可以將它們擱置一段時間。寬恕的一部分是理解某人是否對所發(fā)生的.事情負責，甚至可能表示遺憾。

　　請理解，并非每個寬恕者都會與造成痛苦的人和解和好。有些關系是有害的，甚至是人身危險的。盡管可以原諒過去并超越過去，但這也可能意味著參與其中的人不再能夠在您的生活中扮演積極的角色。如果某人或某個情況不安全，則最好現(xiàn)在不要和解。在情緒健康和人身安全的時候，請原諒自己。

　　做出有意識的決定來原諒某人。即使他們從未為發(fā)生的事情道歉，也要確定自己在沒有這種道歉的情況下繼續(xù)進行是可以的。道歉不應該請求寬恕。道歉應該表示歉意。他們應該承認，對這種情況承擔個人責任很重要。即使沒有道歉，也要下定決心原諒，忘記并最終放手。

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